This is a Cross pen belonging to my husband. Examine it carefully. This is not just any pen. This pen spent four blazing-hot summer months beneath the seat of the SUV and came out yesterday looking fresh as a daisy. It even writes perfectly. Nick thought maybe the ink would have been baked on the inside and would be pretty much useless, but no. This is one tough pen. This pen is the equivalent of those rugby players who spent 100 days in the Andes after a plane crash and then WALKED across the mountains to Chile. This pen got left behind on a manned mission to Mars and had to science its way out of there. This pen singlehandedly saved the hostages in the Nakatomi Plaza building from a band of smooth-talking terrorists. This pen once brushed its teeth with a rattlesnake rattle. This pen got super-buff and protected its son from an evil shape-changing cyborg from the future. I once overheard this pen ask someone if they felt lucky, punk. This pen thwarted a wave of invading aliens using only martial arts moves and a pair of sunglasses. This pen is evenly matched with Apollo Creed. This pen was poisoned, shot, and drowned, and never incurred so much as a scratch. This pen developed the “style of no style” fighting method. This pen ran the Gem Theater in Deadwood, South Dakota. This pen once rode a moose while it swam across a flooded river. This pen has been known to rip off the arms of demons without remorse. This pen was dipped in the River Styx to make it tougher. This pen is basically Danny Trejo. This pen drove a car across the Nevada desert screaming about bats. This pen chased a white whale until it died. This pen killed the six-fingered man. This pen turns green and gains enormous muscles when it gets angry. This pen helmed a ship built from the fingernails of the dead. This pen defeated the Goblin King. This pen has a chainsaw for a hand. This pen fended off the xenomorph alien queen with a cargo loader and also led Evil Paul Reiser to the fate he deserved. Game over, man.
Respect the pen.