Zooey wearing her Thing 1/Thing 2 hat.

Hanging out in overalls.

This is an old Princess Leia doll I found at the bottom of a box of my childhood things. The red goo on her neck is actually residue from a balloon, which I apparently wrapped around the doll for extra decoration. It . . . um . . . melted onto the doll.

Zooey's first newspaper hat.

Here's Zooey at my Grandma's 90th birthday party. Zooey's on the right. On the left are my cousin Debra's kids, Landen and Kendra. My cousin Sharon is in the background.

Zooey playing with Landen.

Crashing out on the car ride home.

A few weeks ago it rained. And rained. And then it rained some more. Over the course of the storm we made a discovery in the back yard: a new river! If it returns we may have to give it a name. The Miskatonic River, perhaps?

Here's Miss Zooey's first trip to the baby pool. Lauren Bacall, eat your heart out.

Playing with the fountains in the pool.

And finally, here are a couple of shots of Zooey at the State Fair petting zoo. She was unimpressed.

... as described above.

I have been remiss with my postings lately, so forgive me if I include a few more pictures than usual in this entry. There are just so many great ones, and apparently I do not have the ability to choose between them! So first up, here are a few shots of Zooey being extremely excited about a balloon.

And another one.

And another one. Could anything be better than this balloon?

Here's Zooey enjoying the new little playhouse Grandma Janelle and Grandpa Joe got her.

This makes me think of a very short pirate carrying a cutlass in his mouth.

Zooey wandering around on the driveway.

Here she is looking slightly wistful in her floral jumper.

We recently found a box of my old ballet costumes, so we thought it'd be fun to let Zooey try some of them on. We thought it was adorable, but she seemed somewhat dubious about the whole endeavor.

Here's Zooey wearing a beautiful little dress that my talented friend Mary Ann sewed for her.

And here she has somehow managed to get it down around her waist. Good job, honey!

Smile!

We got the official ok to switch the car seat from rear-facing to a forward-facing position. This means we can look back and see her while we're driving, and more importantly, she can see us. Here she is trying out the new set-up.

Happy April! Here are some recent and rather random pictures from our household.

Last fall we planted some flowers at our new house, and this past Thursday we saw our first daffodil come up! I'm so proud of us.

Lately, Zooey has started doing a thing where she has to examine and test the properties of all the objects around her. Step 1: Grab the object and/or substance and smoosh it around between the fingers....

Step 2: Put substance and/or object in the mouth.

Motorcycle!!

Still excited from the "ride" on Daddy's motorcycle.

Zooey in her Easter dress and floppy hat.

Here's another example of Zooey's new world investigation technique. Yes, she's tasting a rock.

Zooey pulling an Annie Oakley.

I came upon this lovely sight shortly after getting Zooey up this morning. I went to the kitchen to get some juice, and when I came back, more than half this box of Kleenexes had been emptied.

And lastly, here's a picture of Zooey being adorably sleepy.

We took this video a few weekends ago when it was gorgeous outside and the birds were chirping and spring was shouting "howdy!" from around the corner.

Last weekend it snowed five inches. Sigh.

Also . . .

I promised our friend Jeff I'd make a big old cookie burger out of the dough we ordered from his daughter, Natalie. Looks . . . appetizing. Right? Doesn't it?

Woohoo! Zooey turned 1 year old today!! Here are some photos from the family party we had today. She did pretty well...she was in a pleasant mood the whole time and didn't get cranky until after the guests left, which, in my opinion, shows great consideration and maturity.

Below: Zooey is chatting with Grandma Janelle.

Here's the robot "cake," which is actually assembled from a bunch of cupcakes and iced repeatedly to fill in the gaps. It turned out reasonably well, I think, except for a slightly disjointed shoulder joint which I couldn't seem to do anything about. I figure he's one of those post-apocalyptic robots who got injured fighting a band of psychotic oil thieves. Oh, the things he's seen, man. The things he's seen.

Here's the whole table set-up. (Thanks to Aunt Emily for the awesome robot plate! She must be psychic because I'm pretty sure I never told her the theme of the party.)

Zooey with her very first present, a little velvety car that her dad and I got for her. She hasn't figured out the rolling part yet, but she likes to chew on the wheels.

Zooey and her stash.

And now the obligatory birthday cake event. Here's Zooey eagerly awaiting her dessert.

...and here she is halfway through the cupcake...

...and here she is afterwards. Notice the blue fingers and the glazed expression. Sugar rush in 3....2.....1.....

She then had the energy to ride this sweet rocker and giggle for about 30 minutes.

From left to right, Grandma Jan, Grandpa Jerry, Zooey, Grandma Janelle, and Papa Joe.

Taking a minute to pose with Mommy.

Guess who just graduated to the Big Girl Bath? And yes, she's still wearing her Transformers party hat.

That's three tiny steps for Zooey, one giant leap for . . . um . . . Zooeykind.

(Cue confetti)

So I've fallen behind a bit on the holiday photos. I posted Thanksgiving photos on Christmas, and now, several weeks after the start of the new year, I'm posting our Christmas-related photos. The best I can say is, sorry about that. Looking after a baby is exhausting, and most evenings I'd just rather play Dragon Age: Origins than mess around on the computer.

So yeah. Anyway, here are some fun holiday pictures, yo, beginning with this cool one of Zooey having a conversation with her Great Grandma Vaughn.

Here's Zooey in the high chair at Grandma Jan's and Grandpa Jerry's house, waiting for the Christmas grub and for the eggnog that, sadly, would never arrive.

Hanging out with Grandpa Jerry on Christmas Eve.

And opening presents. "Hooray, this is just what I wanted!"

At home with her stocking and the toys that came in it.

Here's one at Grandma Janelle's and Papa Joe's house. This present must have seemed like a mountain to Zooey.

Between presents, with bow.

Here's one with the fabulous rocking horse that Papa Joe picked out for Zooey. I have a feeling she's going to LOVE this when she gets a bit older.

"Thanks, Great Aunt Sheryl!"

All decked out at Grandma and Grandpa Vaughn's house.

None of these presents can compare with the simple bliss of Grandpa's watch.

Here are a couple of shots of Zooey wearing a gorgeous poncho knit by my Aunt Judy.

Here's a good one showing the poncho from the back. See the adorable hood?

This has nothing whatsoever to do with Christmas, but I'm including it because it's awesome. Over the holidays we paid a visit to our local Habitat Restore place, and in the back was this fabulous door, set in a frame just like in Monsters Inc. It made me want to buy it and put it in my house just the way it is pictured, only with the addition of a few pink flower decals, like in the movie.

The Family in Black. Here we all are in our Johnny Cash shirts, because when it comes down to it, we're all walking the line. (Except for the baby. She can't walk yet.)

And now the last one. Have you ever eaten so much that you just couldn't stay awake any longer? I know someone who has.

Okay, so not all of these are strictly HOLIDAY pictures, but sue me. They're cute.

Here's one from a few weeks ago. Seems like every time I try to snap a picture, Miss Z makes a beeline for the camera.

We thought it'd be fun to let Zooey play with one of the saucepans, so she'd have something to do while Mommy and Daddy were preparing meals. Guess what she did with it, first thing? Hmm...it's shiny...it must be a hat!

This is just a cute picture of Zooey wearing a corduroy jumper that my Aunt Judy made for me when I was a baby (*sniff, sniff). Still looks gorgeous!

Here is Zooey on Turkey Day eagerly awaiting her food. This was shortly before she ejected her pureed turkey dinner out through her nostrils. Ouch!

Zooey tickling the ivories (with a little help) on Turkey Day.

These days, the old way of carrying around a pacifier just won't do. Now is the time for innovation. Now is the time to think outside the box.

Here's Zooey balancing upright. And with the striped pants, doesn't the coat look a bit like a flamboyant pimp coat? All she needs is a jewel-encrusted cane.

Helping Daddy wrap presents. We call this one, "I love it when a plan comes together."

Here's Miss Z trying out the rocking horse my Uncle Joe made for me when I was a kid. Still in working order, apparently!

Yes, she does have a proper bathtub. But it's so much cuter to see her in the sink. So there.

This happened about half an hour ago, and already she's done it three or four more times. It's like something just clicked in her brain. ("What, this crawling thing? Yeah, that's no big deal.")

Woohoo! This past Saturday we moved into a new domicile! Here are some random shots from The Big Day.

The front of the house.

Saying goodbye to the old place.

My friend Laurie came by to watch Zooey.

Mike and Maddi occupying themselves with my Guitar Hero: Metallica game, while their dad helps unload the truck.

View of the dining area and kitchen. We will be painting the walls a lighter color as soon as we get a chance.

Living room. Sorry for the clutter, but it IS moving day.

Zooey entertaining herself with her laptop.

Master bathroom.

This is the view from our bathroom window.

This little staircase takes you up and out to the patio/back yard area. We're planning on using it as a decontamination zone for when Zooey gets big enough to make mud angels in the yard.

I love this yard! However, Nick and I have spent the past several afternoons mowing, edging, ripping dead plants out of the garden, etc., and I have come to a conclusion. Yard. Work. Sucks.

Back view of house with patio for grillin' and such.

Here's Zooey in her new room, sitting in the rocking chair her dad used when he was a baby.

Zooey's bathroom.

Check out that bookshelf. My God, it's full of...dust!

Here's a shot of Zooey's ladybug room. The gorgeous quilt on the side of the crib was made for her by my Aunt Sally. And yes, those ARE movie posters on the wall (A Clockwork Orange and The Rocky Horror Picture Show, respectively). Is that weird?

The other side of the ladybug room.

First night in the new house! Zooey seems to be a tad excited about her new room.

This past Friday was Zooey's 6-month birthday. I can hardly believe it's been so long! Seems like just yesterday we were bringing home a teeny-tiny bundle of babyness wearing a tomato hat.

Just this weekend, Zooey began to talk....and talk....and talk....and talk. What exactly is she saying? Is she waxing philosophical about the emergence of online media? Is she perhaps expressing her dismay at the current state of our political discourse? Who knows. All I can say is that it's pretty entertaining stuff. Just take a listen!

This weekend Nick and I took Zooey to the park for her first ride on a swing. She seemed to enjoy it, especially when Nick pushed her ever so slightly and she got to feel the breeze flowing through her wispy hair. (FYI: Mama is just outside the frame, waiting to spring into action should the need arise.)

Here she is looking casual and carefree.

Awww...this picture makes Mama's heart go melty-melty.

"Hmm...did I forget to turn the stove off?"

Looking a bit wistful here (perhaps thinking of the late John Hughes).

And this is Zooey playing with the Punk Rock Sheldon turtle that her daddy knitted for her. Cute, huh?

This beautiful tree sculpture is on the northeast side of the KU campus. It was designed by the artist Patrick Dougherty and was constructed using silver maple and dogwood saplings from sustainable populations west of Lawrence.

Peekaboo!

Oooh, more camera time!

Here's Zooey playing with her new play center.

And her new exersaucer...

And sitting in the big girl chair!

She can also stand, with a little help from Daddy.

And here's a little more Tummy Time. This is my favorite of her pajama outfits.

Whenever she wears it I always have to sing:

"There ain't no lemons on me,

There ain't no lemons on me,

There may be lemons on some Gene Simmons

But there ain't no lemons on me!!

Which is of course silly, since there's nothing BUT lemons on her outfit. But you know me. Ceci n'est pas une pipe.

Here's why.

In honor of Zooey's 4-month birthday, here's a video of the little lady rocking out to some mid-80s Austrian pop goodness. You know you want to sing along.

My good friend Thomas was in town this weekend, along with his wife Colleen and his very handsome son Christopher. We took advantage of their presence and had ourselves a little Baker University reunion. Food! Toys! Moderate destruction! It was just like old times (except, you know, for the offspring). Here are some photos of the occasion.

Below is Thomas with Christopher. In the foreground is Emily's son Cooper, who is taking a picture of me while I take a picture of him.

This is a picture of Christopher meeting Zooey for the first time.

Nick, Zooey, and Michael.

Michael's son Parker is in the Cozy Coupe. Behind is Thomas playing with Christopher.

Alan and Kristen on the sofa. Emily sitting with Cooper, and Nick sitting with Zooey.

And finally, here are a couple of photos taken of Zooey in the outfit that my talented friend Mary Ann made for her.

Karate kick!

As the title indicates, here's a collection of random photos taken over the past few weeks.

First up is my latest project, the Octopus's Garden jacket. I used green and white damask fabric and cut out an octopus shape that I had drawn out. I then applied fusible web paper to the back, heated it until it was attached, and stitched it all on with light blue contrast thread. And added button eyes, natch.

I love this picture of Zooey playing with her daddy.

Mere moments after this photo was taken, the truck unhinged its jaw and devoured the little sedan beside it. Seriously.

"Oh noes! More pictures of me!"

Cute baby, cute dress, nuff said.

I ordered this charm on Etsy (an online crafts bazaar). Remember the evil robot Maximilian from Disney's "The Black Hole"? This is him! Isn't he the coolest?

And last but not least, more Tummy Time!

Last week my mom and I took Zooey to the Bloch Building, which is the newest addition to the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in downtown KC. We learned several things on this trip. First, Zooey has a teeny tiny bladder. Second, Zooey really likes contemporary art, especially the work of George Segal. And third, Zooey does not care for the 16th-19th century Indian paintings we looked at (apparently the detail is too fine and no one provided her with a magnifying glass). All in all she did pretty well, and we're hoping we can take her back when she's older.

Here we are by the Thinker, hoping to tune in to his very profound thoughts. (Fire power.)

This is the inside of the Bloch Building. As you can see, the design is really beautiful and the windows are placed so that the interior is absolutely full of light.

Here's my mom holding Zooey beside a bronze statue that we befriended.

Other recent developments in our lives include . . . a fabulous new table! (Zooey's wardrobe was provided by Mama, who can't seem to stop making cutesy applique designs for her little one.)

"Punk Rock Girl, give me a chance

Let's go slamdance, we'll dress like Minnie Pearl

Just you and me, Punk Rock Girl."

Here's Zooey in the bath . . .

And on her tummy . . .

And with her pacifier . . .

For Memorial Day, we took a family trip to the playground and helped Zooey play on the equipment.

Here she is licking the snozzberries on her shirt.

And here she is again, just looking adorable. Does she really need to do anything beyond that?

Guten tag! Here are some photos from my first Mother's Day, as well as a few stragglers that I just thought were cute. FYI: Mother's Day this year was on the same day as our anniversary (my "mom-aversary" as Nick says), so, as we do every year, we went out to Clinton lake and had a wee picnic on the spot where Nick proposed to me. You can see that the weather contributed to the romance by providing a healthy dose of coldness and drizzling rain.

So here we go.

Below, you'll see Nick offering Zooey a sip of his soda. (She politely declined, opting instead for her usual beverage, which was conveniently on tap.)

This photograph was taken mere moments before a massive poop. Maybe you can tell by her expression?

As you can see in this picture, Zooey has started drooling quite a bit recently. I'm really hoping this doesn't mean she is about to begin teething. (Apparently I started teething at about 6 weeks, so there is genetic precedent.)

Try as she might, she just can't keep her eyes away from the food source. "Zooey, honey, my eyes are up HERE."

Trying . . . and failing . . . to get her to look at the camera.

Still trying . . . .

Zooey looking cute as she attempts to devour her hand. As a side note, you know what I think of every time she does this? That painting by Goya where Saturn eats his kids for breakfast. I'd link to it, but . . . well, you know. Kinda gross.

I made this monster applique and sewed it onto a onesie while I was pregnant. Now, finally, she can fit into the thing.

And finally, here I am reading to Zooey from the Brown Bear book that Aunt Emily got for us. Yay!

Lately, our little Zooey has been associating with some rather notorious characters. Just this past week, for example, I've observed her chatting with Che Guevara . . .

Cavorting with Cthulhu . . .

Fraternizing with the Fett . . .

And . . . um . . .

playing with Nick.

So it turns out there was a traveling NASA exhibit on the KU campus today. The main attraction? A moon rock brought back by Capt. Ron Evans (KU's first astronaut) aboard Apollo 17. The moon rock is an estimated 3 billion years old, and we were allowed to touch it. How. Freakin'. Cool. Is. That?

Naturally, we brought you-know-who to see the thing. Here's a photo of Zooey walking on the moon (rock).

After you touched the moon rock, there was a little kiosk set up where you could have your picture taken, and it would print out a photo that made it look as though you were wearing a spacesuit.

Yes. We are huge dorks.

The following are just some random photos from the past few days:

1. A pretty purple dress.

2. Doesn't this outfit make her look like the little boy from Labyrinth? (You remind me of the babe...What babe?..The babe with the power...)

3. Zooey's finally big enough to fit into the cloth diaper set we bought her. The result is a little bulky, but overall not too bad at all.

4. Cute daisy dress. Enough said.

5. Sittin' pretty in the papasan chair.

6. And finally, here are four generations of our family: my dad, me, Zooey, and Grandma Vaughn.

Nick also posted a lovely picture of Zooey on his site tonight. You can check it out here.

Here's Zooey in her menagerie. Does this remind anyone else of that famous scene from E.T.?

The kimono set she's wearing in this picture was originally intended for the trip home from the hospital. (The tag even said "a take-me-home" outfit, or some such.) A month old and several pounds heavier, she's finally big enough to wear it! Yay!

AWS -- Adorable While Sleeping.

Here she is looking a bit like Elton John.

Tummy Time with Daddy. And no, there's nothing wrong with Zooey's legs here . . . she's just doing her usual froggie imitation.

And finally, my favorite: the requisite boppy picture.

Here's Zooey "enjoying" her first ever parade. (Don't worry, we put the canopy back over her as soon as the picture was taken. Two weeks is a bit early for a first sunburn, and anyway you know how those newborns can be real divas when it comes to their skin.)

This float wins the cookie! Behold, a worthy tribute to one of my favorite movies of all time.

What do these guys do? Apparently they scoop poop.

In case you can't tell, these young women are doing the "Thriller" dance in full zombie regalia.

Kids on unicycles!

Here's Dorothy, looking a bit mannish.

This parade brought to you by...um...green paint.

Asteroid Head Art Club. Why do these guys make me think of "City of Lost Children"?

Asteroid head up close.

Still more asteroid heads, with wagon.

And speaking of artistic expression, here's an original design of Zooey's. The subject matter is unconventional (a bird, maybe?), and you may notice she has used spit-up as a medium. That's our clever girl.

Power napping with Daddy.

As you might guess, this is Zooey at exactly 1 week old.

Baby's first trip out to a restaurant (Spangles).

Zooey asleep in striped pajamas.

And here, posing with Daddy's newest acquisition from the Yarn Barn.

Take a look at our lovely Miss Zooey Elizabeth (named after the Salinger book). She was born February 28, 2009, at 6 pm, and weighed 6 lbs, 10 oz.

Here's Baby Zooey in the hospital.

Nick and Zooey (with the hat Nick made for her):

Nick and Zooey, part II:

And here's Baby Zooey with her birthday flowers.

More later. Very tired now.

Here are Nick's most recent projects for our little lady. (Thanks to Queequeg the Penguin for serving as model.) In order of appearance they are:

The fabulous tomato beanie

And a very pretty crown hat.

Today's Topic #1: A Holiday Song Promoting Things Both Larcenous and Unethical.

Have you ever really thought about the lyrics of "The 12 Days of Christmas"? It's pretty bizarre stuff. First of all, half of the gifts bequeathed by the narrator's True Love are birds (swans, partridges, turtle doves, etc). Everyone knows that pets make terrible presents. They require a lot of responsibility, and it's not fair to the animals in question if their owners turn out to be too flaky to take care of them. The other half of the gifts from the song are people. Actual people. Are we talking about human trafficking here? How do you think the eight maids a-milking feel about being purchased for some random chick's Christmas gift? They're not thrilled, I can tell you that much. In fact, the only proper gift in the whole song is the set of five golden rings. (Even that is rather questionable. I've always suspected the rings were stolen.)

Today's Topic #2: Zombies.

A few nights ago I had another dream about zombies. This time I was in an enormous house, and there were a bunch of other people with me. We had managed to contain the zombies within the upper and lower level of the house, but of course zombies can't just be content with what they have, so they were trying to break through to where we were. We set out to fight them, arming ourselves with items from the kitchen. I killed several zombies with a small paring knife and also with one of those little pokey things that holds your corn-on-the-cob (more effective than you'd think). The interesting thing is that this is the first time I have actually fought back against zombies in a dream. Typically, I catch one glimpse of those brain junkies lumbering toward me and immediately bolt in the other direction. I guess now that I'm pregnant the stakes are higher?

Today's Topic #3: Happy New Year.

Ahem. Happy New Year.

Nick and I went for a second sonogram today to check on the baby's progress (all the growth measurements were normal). This first image shows our genteel little lady sucking her thumb (or picking her nose, we're not sure which).

This one makes it look like she's blowing smoke rings, doesn't it? Like maybe she's got a little hookah in there and she's just going to town with it? Well in reality those little bubbles are segments of the umbilical cord that's resting beside her.

Nick and I also went to childbirth classes this weekend. The highlights were as follows:

1. practice of various relaxation techniques
2. a tour of the hospital and birthing suites (they have DVD players, so I can watch Superman Returns over and over again during recovery)
3. some new terminology (e.g., baby catcher, sunny side up)
4. a series of videos featuring families with fabulous 80s hair
5. and lastly, a demonstration of childbirth using a knitted uterus as a prop (I think Nick has found his next big project)

This weekend Nick and I went out and purchased a baby stroller/car seat combo. Kinda neat, so we decided to strap Yellow Bear into it and try it out. (Yellow Bear was Nick's favorite stuffed animal as a kid.) We rolled it around the room a couple of times and Yellow Bear didn't complain, so I think we're going to deem the purchase a success.

With a little baby kicking nonstop inside my belly--(I really think she's testing it systematically for weaknesses, like a velociraptor)--I thought I'd do a little kicking of my own. This took place in the engineering building on campus. KAREN SMASH!

And afterwards . . . oh noes! What have I done!

Further updates:

Wanted is out on DVD now! Man, I loved that movie. It was just so brazenly beautifully over the top. Also, Zod is in it (you know, from Superman II?), and any movie featuring Zod is automatically Oscar-worthy.

And speaking of movies, we recently watched a movie called Machine Girl, which is essentially a Japanese grindhouse flick. Wow. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite so hilarious and bizarre. Nothing about the violence is realistic (imagine, if you will, geyser-like blood spurts emanating from severed limbs), but it's still not for the faint of heart. Tarantino only wishes he could be this hardcore.

Let's see, what else? Oh yeah, I love hot chocolate again! More Chocolate-Cinnamon Delight, please.

What does music sound like to a fetus? It has to be fairly muffled, like listening to the car radio when you're curled up in the trunk. Sometimes I like to imagine our little girl as a miniature blues singer with a harmonica. Or maybe a Johnny Cash clone, whiling away the time in her hide-out until she can emerge and make her musical mark on the world:

I hear the heart a'beatin,'

It's comin' 'round the bend,

And I ain't seen the sunshine

Since I don't know when.

I'm stuck in Karen's belly,

And time keeps draggin' on . . .

I've heard it's good to sing to the fetus, so I've been doing that at least a couple of times a day. I also play the requisite classical tunes (more Beethoven, less Mozart), as well as a healthy dose of Bjork, Neko Case, The Decemberists, Jeff Buckley, Leadbelly, Tom Waits, and the soundtrack for The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Oh, and I've been playing her a lot of college radio lately so that she can get a good background in some of the lesser-known indie bands. So begins the slow indoctrination into wannabe hipster culture. (Maybe she can get through that insufferably pretentious, just-discovered-Plato's-Allegory-of-the-Cave phase while she's still a toddler. Wouldn't that be awesome?)

So, anybody have any musical recommendations?

Here are some freaky eyeball sugar cookies I made for Halloween. In case you're wondering, the irises are Life Savers and the pupils are chocolate chips. Yummy + terrifying = perfect.

Being a fetus is no excuse for not wearing a costume. With that in mind, here is our little girl dressed up as Rogue from the X-Men. She got her first trick-or-treat candy from the generous staff at Spangles. Thanks, guys!

Here is a closer view of her costume.

Yep, we had a great time taking the baby out on her first Halloween outing. In the evening we went on something called the Haunted Haskell tour, which was a flashlight tour of the places on Haskell University's campus where ghosties and other specters have supposedly been seen. We didn't see the dead janitor or the red floating orb, but we did see a guy in a very convincing Teen Wolf costume. Oh, and there was also a guy wearing an Obama mask who charged toward us shouting "VOTE FOR ME NEXT TUESDAY!"

All in all, a ghoulish good time.

For anyone interested, here's a video of the newest member of the family. The subject is currently in beta testing, with a scheduled release date of late February/early March.

Oh, and in case you can't tell (what, you're not a lab technician?), it's a baby girl.

One day I went outside, absolutely convinced that there was some kind of decomposing plant matter nearby. I could smell it everywhere, pungent and rotten-smelling. But when I dragged Nick out to verify it, he wasn't able to smell anything at all.

I don't know how it's possible to be this overheated all of the time. Sometimes my face feels like the Nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

So my body is building a home for the baby, and it's apparently doing it 24/7 based on the symptoms I've been experiencing. Don't they have unions in the uterus? Seriously. Someone's getting overworked.

Flavors are all wrong. I also have a terrible aftertaste following every meal, drink, or snack. What's with that? It's like I taste every flavor, and then I taste the haunted carnival version of the flavor. It's the same basic taste, but all sinister and unpleasant.

Wouldn't it be cool if there were educational tapes and videos that you could use to teach the baby about the world while it was still in the womb? You know, like in Superman.