Hey, fellow Star Wars fans! Here is a little parody song I wrote, called, “Behind This Mask: Kylo’s Lament.” It is set to the tune of The Who’s “Behind Blue Eyes,” and it just might provide some insight into the plight of poor emo villain Kylo Ren. Warning: SPOILERS are contained within!
So here is a series of tiny houses I recently made featuring some of my favorite American presidents, including Ulysses S. Grant, William Howard Taft, Harry Truman, and Teddy Roosevelt. Enjoy!
First up we have famed adventurer and Rough Rider, Teddy Roosevelt, meeting the leader of an alien species on his/her home planet. Most people would be intimidated by the formidable-looking alien and the rocky terrain, but not our Teddy! This is the man who once rode a moose through a raging river, after all. He is afraid of nothing.
I like to call this one, The Atomic Cafe. It features Harry Truman dancing with a giant grasshopper that has been mutated by a nuclear bomb. Era-appropriate pop art lines the walls and shelf.
Next up we have the famously combative Ulysses S. Grant facing off with Bruce Lee in a giant mushroom forest. Two men enter, one man leaves. Who will be the victor?!
And lastly, we have William Howard Taft enjoying some of the finer things in life. He is seen here in his fancy hipster loft, beside his mid-century modern chair, admiring his favorite Frida Kahlo painting.
Who should be featured next? Perhaps George Washington reclining in a dentist’s chair?
In the long and storied history of my daughter saying morbid things, here is the latest (and I believe greatest) example. Behold, a story she was recently asked to write for school:
Basically, the text reads, “One day Mom and Dad and Zooey were in the yard. Dad buried Mom. Dad laughed. Zooey didn’t laugh.”
Yep, that’s ME buried in the ground with a tombstone that says, “Mom.” Zooey and Quigley have sad faces, because, obviously. And Nick is laughing, because he’s the only one who knows it’s a joke. (Zooey explained to me that I wasn’t REALLY dead, but pretending, which is . . . a little better I guess?) In case you’re wondering, the prompt she was given was, “Write a spooky story.” Her classmates were probably writing about black cats and vampires and pumpkins, but here is my kid, producing the kind of drawing they always use in horror movies to show that the demonic infestation has reached terrifyingly high levels. I should mention that she was super proud of this story. So as soon as I finished giggling, I gave her a high five and a hug. Because that story was AWESOMELY spooky.
Creepy kid drawings: it’s just nature’s way of asking, “Hey, how’s that exorcism coming along?”