How to Escape an Uncomfortable Situation
Monday, 18 April 2005 12:35 CDT
- Shout "aha!," swish your cape around you, and vanish.
- If you are Optimus Prime, transform into tractor-trailer form and pull off to the side of the road. Robots in disguise.
- Tell the Hells Angel to please calm down. All you want to do is listen to the music.
- "And now for my next impression...Jesse Owens!"
- Stay very, very still. The T-Rex's vision is based on movement.
- Tell the other members of the Donner Party you'd like to go out to eat for once. Hike to safety.
- Suggest to Aaron Burr that paper-rock-scissors is a better choice for resolving your conflict.
- Shout "brains! brains!" until the zombies leave you alone. Try to look undead.
- Use the stargate.
- Inform Tom Jones that you're a lesbian. If he persists, set his leopard-print sofa on fire.
- Tell Andrew McCarthy you'd prefer to stay a mannequin, if it's all the same to him.
- Gnaw through the straps.
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